Just say no

Niko and Lena came home from school chanting:

"No, no, we won't do drugs. Because we love our bodies too much."

Welcome to "Just say no" week at Hilton Elementary School.

The school will reinforce the message this week in a variety of ways, including allowing the kids to wear silly socks on Tuesday and their clothes backwards on Thursday.

And while I agree with the message, after listening to the chant for about an hour, I was ready for a new tune. So I asked Niko and Lena a question:

"What are drugs?"

"Umm. Well, umm. I don't know," Lena said.

Uh oh. What good is the message, if the kids have no idea what it's about, what they are supposed to say "no" too?

Is it a pill? A board game? A dance move? A powder? A piece of candy? Something you put in a pipe and smoke?

Now don't get me wrong. I don't think it's solely the school's responsibility to teach the kids about drugs. In fact, I think the responsibility lies squarely with the parents. And I did use this as an opening to talk with Niko and Lena about drugs, a conversation that will be ongoing for the next decade and a half at least. But if the school is going to send out a "just say no" message, it has to be more than a platitude. It has to mean something. Which means they have to back up the chants -- the easy part of the lesson -- with real solid and practical information about what to say no to, and how to do it.

Carpe Diem

Thomas Alan Gosser
January 1999 -- Oct. 6, 2008

I met Tommy when this picture was taken two years ago. He was 7.

No journalist I know actually wants to interview a 7-year-old, let alone interview a 7-year-old about his cancer.

But Tommy was different. This little first-grader comfortably answered questions about what he called his "exciting and traumatic adventure" with Ewing's sarcoma, a rare cancer of the bones and soft tissue. I still remember sitting there in the family's sun room that day praying that one day I wouldn't be back there talking about Tommy in the past tense.

It's a prayer that wasn't answered.

I was back in that sun room about 10 days ago, talking to Tommy's father for a story I would put in the paper after his son died. Young Tommy was asleep in a hospital bed that was the focus of the next room. And his dad, while talking about his son's death and his legacy, often looked away from me to that enormous bed and the tiny boy in it.

I talked to his father again yesterday after Tommy died. His mother was with him when he died at about 4 a.m. Monday.

So very sad. So many missed opportunities. Tommy will never go to college, never fall in love, never get married or have kids.

It reminds me how important it is to seize the day.

Proud mama

I am so proud of the twins. Today was their first swim meet. And while I don't know whether they won or placed or even qualified, they had fun and are already asking about the next meet.

It was a long day. It started out with a 15-year-old teammate falling down on her back on the slick wood floor and having to be taken out on a body board by EMTs. Luckily, while she cracked a vertebrae, I'm told her spinal chord is intact and she will be fine, albeit pretty uncomfortable for a while.

The meet (a tri-meet between three teams with a total of 200 swimmers) started late and was not quite over when we left five hours later. It was a long day, with a lot of down time sitting around between races.

I was able to see all three races for each of them. They both swam freestyle, the freestyle relay and backstroke. Lena actually came in second in her heat in back. And she even was willing to go off the starting block -- a first -- for the relay. I was so proud of her for that. Usually her personality is one that is quick to believe she can't do something before she even tries, most especially if there are people watching. So to see her take her mark and go (with a little nudge tap from me) made me so incredibly proud. And it got me choked up. These happy moments always bring the tears to my throat. What a sap.

The kids played nicely in the gym while they waited between events. Lena colored and did puzzles and played war with a girl from school, while Niko made friends with some of the boys on the team. At the end of the day, he and Noah hugged goodbye and added "see ya Tuesday!"